Brandon

The fall of 2021 was not good for me. I was struggling with physical, mental, and emotional health. My A1C was hovering about a 7.3, but that was requiring massive amounts of insulin a day to keep it that low. My vision was blurry—it seemed like I was often looking through water. My hands would often fall asleep at night. My feet hurt from neuropathy. I was not sleeping. Every day was filled with anxiety and fear. I was having major panic attacks. I was a wreck and knew I had to make some changes. If you have not already read the beginning of my story jump over there and then come back here for more about the journey of recovery, it truly was a Mid Life Health Crisis.

The only way I could describe to others how I was feeling, was that I did not just feel like me. During this time and for about a year, fasting had been on my mind. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, fasting and prayer are an important part of worship. We use this method to draw closer to the Savior and seek his blessings. As an insulin dependent diabetic, I had not really fasted for years. I know there are other methods to draw close to the Savior, but for some reason fasting just seemed to be something I really wanted to do.

It was early October and I was really struggling. A kind neighbor across the street (retired therapist) gave me some good counsel and some ways to reduce stress to keep it from moving into a full panic. He directed me to get additional therapy. I did go to a doctor and was prescribed something to help me sleep—I wanted to make sure this was something I only used short term. I also visited a therapist and we discussed some additional coping methods.

Long before this crisis had started, my wife and I had planned a trip to Florida to spend time with her Aunt and visit Uncles and other family members. We also had planned a lot of time at the theme parks, our girls (in their teens) were extremely excited. With the help I had already received and taking medication to sleep, things went fairly well for us during our October trip. The kids had a blast and every moment was worth it. It was great for all of us. I was still on edge. Lot’s of anxiousness, but only had small panic attacks—the coping methods helped me get through these. I do feel like I was hiding a lot of my emotions and anxiety, but I so badly wanted the family to have a great time it was worth it.

Upon returning home I hoped things would better. Things didn’t. I ran out of my initial sleeping prescription and I did not want to keep asking for refills. Most days still had lots of anxiety.

I could not stop thinking about fasting. One of my favorite passages of scripture is contained in Mark chapter 9. Here it is described that a man seeks the Savior’s help to cure his boy of a devil. The Savior tells the man his son can be healed by the faith of the father. The man cries out, “Lord I believe…” then in a realization that his faith might not be enough, he pleads, “help thou my unbelief.” I hope to have the faith of this man with his desire to draw upon the Savior to increase my faith. After the Savior casts out the devil, the apostles ask the Savior how he was able to cast out this devil when their previous attempts had not been successful. His reply teaches us that there are certain challenges and trials that can only be resolved by much fasting and prayer. Contemplating this, I decided to give fasting a try. I determined I would take my insulin, but not eat breakfast and monitor my blood sugar closely. The morning I chose to fast I still planned on taking me medication as normal. As I went to take my medication, the thought occurred to me to look at the side effects listed for my medications, I wondered if they possibly could be contributing to my health crisis. I was startled to find that a number of my medications listed rare, but possible side effects such as insomnia, heart palpitations, elevated heart rate, dry mouth, depression, anxiety, neuropathy, among a long list of other things—so many of these were things I was feeling. I felt a glimpse of hope, but did not know how to get off the medication, especially the insulin.

Later that evening as I felt my hope was fading, anxiety set in. I wanted to run away—I just did not know where to go. I felt like I needed to chat with my neighbor, again. Once more he was kind and helpful. During our conversation I brought up that I was type 2 diabetic and that I was concerned about all the medications I was taking. He recommended I speak with his daughter, a dietitian working with a local doctor using, intermittent fasting to improve the health of type 2 diabetics.

Here was fasting being brought up again. I set up the appointment.

The day of the appointment, I awoke at 4am, shaking and weak with a blood sugar of 46. I got a snack and waited for my blood sugar to climb to mid 90’s. exhausted, I fell back asleep and tested it again when I woke up about 8am, it was about 140. I decided not to take my insulin.

During my visit with the doctor and dietician, the doctor asked me why I was there. I told him I desperately wanted the panic and anxiety out of my life, and if I could, I wanted to get to a point where I no longer needed to take all the medication I was on. The doctor responded, “Now you’re talking my language.” It felt like a turning point, I knew in that moment we could do this. We talked about intermittent fasting and what it would take to get off my medications.

Please note… I am making no recommendations for anyone to stop taking medications without supervision of a doctor. I was in communication with my doctor and dietician during this whole process. Some medications I stopped immediately, others I went a little slower. Over the next two months my blood sugar did increase slightly as I was off insulin. Soon though, my blood sugar began to drop. I would spike after eating, but not as high and not as long.

It is about 4 months after making these changes in my. The results are amazing. Occasionally when I eat, I still spike a bit. Regularly my blood sugar is between 90—150. No medication. I am excited for my next A1C in the the next month or so and will update my results here.

For years I had been working my way up to severe Type 2 diabetes. It took a while to notice—as, for over a decade, I owned a grounds maintenance business and filled my day with long hours of active labor and exercise.

Heading the wrong way

My eating habits during these years were poor at best. I rarely ate breakfast. About mid-day, I would stop at a gas station and grab soda or Gatorade, chips, and maybe some jerky. Then for dinner, I would often eat a carb-heavy meal, then a late evening snack—typically nachos.

My body started wearing down about eight or nine years into this lifestyle. Hindsight lets me know that it was more than years of hard labor. I began to recover slower after a demanding workday, and mentally things felt sluggish. I opted to sell my company, trading it in for new adventures of a desk.

The diagnosis and a bumpy road

As my life turned sedentary, my health took a huge hit. The mind fog rolled in heavily, and a little over a year later, I lost much of my vision in my right eye requiring cataract surgery (again, a couple of years later, I would have the left eye also receive cataract surgery). There had been some neuropathy—I initially blamed that on working on my feet for years, but it never improved. It was time to visit a doctor where an A1C over 11 confirmed Type 2 diabetes (this was in early 2016).

Diagnosed and now armed with the approved nutrition guidelines and medication, I was determined to beat Type 2 diabetes. Over the next few years, I experienced ups and downs. I tried various medications, some recommended by one of the top endocrinologists in the area. One drug put me on the bathroom floor, throwing up for about 12 hours and then recovering for the next 12 hours, once a week, after each injection. After trying this for a few months, I gave up on that medication even though it had stabilized my blood sugar a bit. It was not worth the pain each week. After this experience, I kept up my insulin doses, and kind of gave up on fighting diabetes. My numbers crept up.

About a year later, I wanted to try again and get my blood sugar under control. I increased my insulin dose—under a doctor’s supervision. My numbers came down over the next year and a half, but by this time, I was taking a lot of insulin and other diabetes medications. Typical of many with Type 2 diabetes, I took cholesterol and blood pressure medication.

The road darkens

I occasionally began to have mild panic attacks at night. I found myself waking suddenly to a feeling that I could not breathe. I had been diagnosed with sleep apnea, so there was already some history of holding my breath at night, but the panic was new. These milder panics started in 2019 and increased in frequency and severity until mid-2021. I felt like my throat was tightening, and my doctor recommended I visit an ear, nose, and throat specialist who performed a scope. At that time, I was diagnosed with acid reflux. To be honest, I fought this diagnosis a little and felt that I might have had acid reflux previously, but this might be an older issue. I thought with some of my meal changes over the past few years (i.e., not eating nachos nearly nightly and cutting way back on the weekly spaghetti meal), the damage had most likely occurred in the past. Nevertheless, nervous about the growing anxiety related to throat tightness, I was desperate to try anything, so I trepidly started taking one of the prescribed medications, but not both.

After another month or so, with the tightness of my throat not improving and the anxiety growing, things just seemed to be getting worse. At this point, there were many symptoms that things were not going well. I often felt numb mentally. I was dizzy at times, especially when waking up at night. Before bed, I had to lotion my feet and wear socks to deal with neuropathy. By this time, I felt like all I ever did was take medication—morning, noon, and night.

Fall was in the air, and although I love fall, I could not enjoy it in 2021. I was feeling terrible, and anxiety was flooding my life. It seemed like things could not get worse, but they did. In late September, I attended a BYU football game with one of my daughters—something we enjoyed together, but things were different this time. About mid-way through the game, I experienced a major panic attack—though I did not know what was happening at the time. At first, I thought it was a low blood sugar event, but as it worsened, I realized my heart was racing. Based on how long I experienced my symptoms, my heart rate was at a sustained level of about 135–140 beats per minute for approximately 30 minutes, even though I was not doing any activity that merited that rate. We left the stadium in an ambulance. In the ER, it was determined to be panic rather than medical.

I hoped this would be a single event, but it was not, and my days became filled with anxiety and additional late-night attacks. I started going days on, only a couple of hours of sleep. As I lay down to sleep, my throat was always so dry and tight that swallowing became hard, if not impossible.

I began testing my heart rate regularly on my watch (I know this was not a medically perfect method), but it gave me a good idea of how I was doing. During this next month of regular testing, it was just too high almost constantly. It would be about 100–115 bpm, even during resting or light activity.

Enough is enough, and so the journey began

Through all this, my wonderful wife could not have been more supportive. She was (and is) amazing, but her concern and care could not help me. I began to fear going to bed at night. I began to fear the setting sun. Sitting and watching a movie with my family even became stressful. I constantly felt the need to escape. These feelings were so off my usual, and I could not accept that this was to be my new reality.

I consulted my doctor, who prescribed medication to help me sleep at night. The medication helped, but I knew I did not want to come to rely upon medicine for sleep. I had to do something more. I visited a neighbor (a retired psychologist), and he offered some recommendations on things I might try to bring down my anxiety levels. He also provided the name of a therapist for me to visit. I knew the physical health issues were an escalating problem, but the panic and anxiety seemed to be pushing me over the edge. I knew I needed something significant to change in my life. You can read about the beginnings of my health journey here.